Friday, 29 June 2012

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...hopefully

I have been off the radar for a long time now, I know that.  A lot of things came up, all at once and I let this blog lapse, as a result of changing priorities.  I apologise for the terrible gap this must have left in your life.  But it's ok, you can stop crying now.  I'm back and I'm going to try my best to stay. 

So I'll try and fill in the gaps over the next few weeks, starting with the ten days I spent in the South of France with my mum and her partner, helping my aunt and her partner re-build a house.  By helping, I mean that for the most part I ensured that I didn't get in the way while they got on and re-built the house.  Nothing worse than having someone under your feet while you're trying to re-build a house, right?  I'm very considerate that way.

The house is in the middle of nowhere.  Literally.  It's a ten minute drive to the nearest post box.  I didn't really know what I was getting into when I signed up for going.  I was kinda sold it as a free holiday in the South of France, with a little light labour thrown in.  "Cool," I thought.  Sounds good. 

Then I found out that the house was in slightly worse nick that I'd been led to believe.  As in, there were no rooms that were habitable for us to stay in.  Ok, maybe there was one in the loft but, BUT, they did have this small problem of a loir infestation in that room.  'But that's ok!  Really!  Yes, they are small and mouse-like, and yes, they do make a hell of a nocturnal, squeaky racket and yes, they do have a tendency to run across your face in the middle of the night!  But they're quite cute really.  Really.'

Errrrrrrrrrrr......... Right.

So, yay.  I was going to stay in a shack for ten days, with small mouse-like squirrels trying to eat my eyes out in the middle of the night.  Oh, and did I mention that apparently there was no internal plumbing.  As in NO TOILET.   Oh hells bells.  I should be receiving payment for signing up for this.  THIS IS SO NOT WHAT I WAS LED TO BELIEVE IT WOULD BE.  Crap.

 Nevertheless, let it never be said that I am not fearless and intrepid, or willing to turn down a free holiday, and so off we set to experience what could be the worst holiday of my life.  At least it would be sunny.  It was late April after all.  It would be sunny, right?



It was not. 

It rained for the entire ten days.  Actually, come to think of it, it hasn't really stopped raining since.

However, on the upside, when we got there, it turned out that the glass was missing from the window in the upstairs loft room.  You may be confused as to why this was an upside.  Well, please try to keep up, you're holding up the whole class.  Obviously it is an upside because it meant that a barn owl had flown through the window and eaten all the loirs!  Yesssssssss!  My eyes were safe. They were grateful. 

But the loft room was still way too dingy for me.  I wasn't sleeping up there.  There was only one place in the whole house I was willing to stay and that was on the cosy sofa in the living room, next to the fire.  Does that mean that I'm in everyone's way in the morning?  Oh well.  Sorry folks.  Life isn't always fair.  Mum and her bloke ended up sleeping in the loft room.  I mean, yes, the roof leaked, but that was ok because they pitched a tent inside the room and screwed the guy ropes straight into the floor!  Did I mention it was a bit rustic?!

Still, it was very pretty and french looking on the outside (taken by dashing outside in a rare moment of dry weather):

You can see the missing window!

It was not as charming inside.  You'll experience the joy of that in the next installment.  It's worth the wait.  Trust me!